Gurrrrl, you don't know! so let me tell you

I talk to a guy on the internet.  I “met” him on CL.  He posted an Alkaline Trio song and I responded in kind.  This began late January so it’s been a little over a month that we talk now.  I still have not met this guy.  I’ve only seen two sort-of-okay pictures of him.  Why am i tripping over this guy? 

So, the list.  He has made a list of the things i should stop.  Yes.  He took it upon himself to tell me what i need to change.  Why does he have to bring up this list every time we talk?  Homeboy may be starting to get on my nerves.  I haven’t met him yet.  WTF??

I shouldn’t feel so bad though because apparently he too is stopping some of the things on the list he made for me.  He is no longer drinking or masturbating.  For reals?  Why do you tell me you’re doing it for me…what does that mean…do you like like me or are we just friends.  I don’t like asking these questions.  They are known to bring things to a screeching halt.